An intergalactic war, but one side is cheating...and to what end?
I am Captain President Quamp.
Our fleet races towards the enemy, arsenal at the ready.
We have our full armoury while the crew are all violently high on the battle drug I call ‘Lustily Kill.’
As we hurtle through dimensions, we let loose our battle cry as one magnificent collective. The noise will reach our enemy before we do, filling their greasy innards with fear. My veins pump with obscene adrenalin.
They shall all die. The bane of our existence. We will feed on flesh and bathe in their blood. We shall murder their younglings.
Extermination.
*
I am the rebel leader of the small Woshumang tribe.
The enemy approaches, we can hear them in the ever expanding worm hole they are charging through. They sound strange, a clamour of deranged noise. We are ready to fight to the last despite the overwhelming fear.
They have the numbers, the guns and savagery.
Their battle fleet bursts through the atmosphere in a brilliant white flash.
They are upon us…then fly straight over and just keep going. And going. They are still screaming as they speed away in the wrong direction.
Their entire fleet eventually burns up far away over the horizon.
We look on, stupefied.
The war is over.
*
I am Captain President Quamp.
I am a Lustily Kill addict.